These last 3 days have felt like a blur. Probably due to everything emotionally, and the medicine. It was a lot of work. First, we used citosin to get me to get contractions. By evening of the 2nd night, I started getting little ones. Around 1am today I was switched to a more aggressive medicine. I conracted for the next 9 hours. At 10:08, I delivered Aryn. 9 1/2 inches tall 290 grams. So beautiful. 10 fingers, 10 toes. Aryn had Adam's lips. The hospital was wonderful. They were very caring, and thougful, and went out of their way to make me and my family comfortable. They put this picture of the leaf and tear drop on my door so all doctors and nurses knew what was going on. Our parents contacted the Queen of Heaven mortuary for us.
Delivering Aryn was so hard. I chose to not do an epidural, (I have this horrible fear of needels anywhere near my spine) and used other medications to ease the pain. My body hurts all over, and to top it off, my heart aches. I begged to be released that day. I did not want to stay where other moms were enjoying the delivery of their babies. Maybe I was jealous, or angry, or just too sad. Either way, I'm glad to be home.
"The distance between joy and sorrow can be measured by a heartbeat."
2 comments:
I can't imagine what you've been through. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Maria
I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a child is heartbreaking. I have something I wanted to send you, may I have your address? You can email it to me, melissahavran@hotmail.com or send it to me on myspace.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I know you have family and friends around, but if I can help you in any way, please let me know. I could drop off a dinner so that you wouldn't have to worry about cooking.
Just let me know.
Melissa
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